Friday, September 17, 2010


I was talking with my sister today, and I mentioned something about not having many conversations in the past few days. She, thinking this was a lament, commented that this must be one of the hardest parts about being widowed. I guess that might be true for some widows, but truly Bill wasn't very chatty. This was especially so over the last few years, when his energy went to fighting health battles. I spent a lot of time talking to myself in those days.

In fact, it was only in the first few days after everyone went home that I missed conversation. From early June until the first week in August, I had plenty of companionship and conversation; sometimes more than I wanted. This is because as an introvert (see Myers-Briggs), I crave solitude when my batteries need recharging; and I was and remain in need of serious recharging. At the same time, I know that it is important for me to be around people and be social. So I play poker on Monday and stay home on Tuesday, go out somewhere on Wednesday and stay home on Thursday, and so on. It isn't a perfect system, but I have a while to work out the kinks.

Knowing that I need conversation and activity, I've also put in an application to be a Veteran's Services Technician for Douglas County. It looked like a good opportunity to meet people and help other Vets make their way through the system. Since, I am pretty sure that I don't want to go back to work full-time, a part-time voluntary position makes more sense. Something that affords the flexibility to be able to pack a bag and take off for somewhere if the spirit moves me.

I might even let my sister talk me into one of those cruises she has been promoting. That might take some convincing; however, as I never have been attracted to the idea of being closed up on a ship and out at sea for days. Add that to taking meals with a few hundred strangers, and I am already thinking this doesn't sound like fun. I mean, seriously, what would I talk about?

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